A WEEKEND'S MUSINGS VIII: WAITING TO BE READY

It's Friday night and I am scrolling through my Instagram feed as you do (probably spending way too much time on there), when I came upon a quote. It was a quote about not wasting time, waiting to feel ready to do something because you probably won't feel ready ever.

In that moment, it hit me like a ton of bricks that this quote was actually speaking to me (you know what I mean). The realisation was profound and I revelled in the sadness and guilt on allowing myself to miss out on some many great opportunities because I didn't feel ready. Thinking about it now, I can apprehend what a lame excuse it is. Can you believe I missed out on the holiday of a life time because I didn't feel ready because of my weight, it's embarrassing but I have said that one way too many times.

I feel like people are obsessed with the need to feel ready, I can't do x,y and z and because I don't feel ready but when are we ready? And how do we know when we are ready? Is it possible we are actually ready now and just don't realise it? For me I know feeling ready is probably linked with my low self belief and maybe it's the same with a lot of people? It's just a lazy justification for not pushing yourself and putting yourself in unfamiliar situations. Though isn't that what life is about? A little fear is good some times.

I vow to myself from this point onwards, that I will not use ''not feeling ready'' as an excuse. I will probably never (slight exaggeration) feel ready. Saying I am not ready is probably the same as choosing to standing still, when you need to move forward. I certainly don't want to be in that position, it's going to be difficult but name one thing that is easy in life.

Currently Reading: 
Darks Places by Gillian Flynn (same author as Gone Girl). I have only started to read this but it has the same darkness you find in Gone Girl. It's about a girl who gave evidence to testify against her older brother that put him away for murder but 25 years later she isn't so sure he is guilty and sets out to investigate whether he is innocent. I am really into criminal narratives and so far it's definitely an intriguing read.

The Beauty Load on Instagram 

How do you feel about waiting to feel ready?

Zeynab x

Make sure you are following me on Bloglovin, I have another post up later today (aren't you guys lucky).