Being Just You Is Enough

Hi guys,
Today's post is kinda different, I was unsure about whether I was gonna put this post up or not. It's quite personal and I hate putting myself in a situation where I am vulnerable and letting people in to see all the nonsense that goes on in my head. I know that, I have benefited and if I can help even one person I guess that is a good enough reason to put it out there to the world.

Last night I watched Lupita Nyong'o acceptance speech at the Black Women in Hollywood Awards (which was a couple of months ago) and this girl knows how to deliver a speech. Lupita spoke about a letter she received from a young girl who was so unhappy with her skin colour, that she was considering using a skin lightening cream to change her skin colour. That was until she saw Lupita being recognised as the beautiful person she is and even with beautiful dark skin. Lupita then went on to talk about her own struggle with her skin colour and how she prayed for lighter skin every night . It made me really sad and uncomfortable to think that there was a little girl out there, who felt like this and to think there is thousands more.

It's crazy that how we allow our perceived ''imperfections'' to have so much power about the way we feel about ourselves. Everyone goes through a stage of thinking ''I'm not good enough, not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not rich enough'' and there are hundred more. I hate that we have to feel less worthy and vulnerable, because of the way we look. I have struggled with this throughout my life and I still do sometimes with this. Sometimes I can't believe how many opportunities I have missed out on and time wasted because I didn't think I was pretty or slim enough - which is so silly thinking about it now but at the time I just couldn't do it.

We all know that there is no such thing as perfect but we are constantly putting the pressure to be perfect on ourselves. When we don't meet these perfect expectations, we feel inadequate and we find that hard to deal with.  I think media has a lot to do with our obsession with perfection because we are constantly bombarded with ''perfect individuals'' - trust me even celebrities aren't perfect. We set ourselves theses unrealistically high expectations because we are made to believe that they are achievable and real. The media is setting us up for failure basically and that doesn't do a hell lot of good for our self-esteem.

Society has created a set of ideals about what is beautiful and what is not and in these ideals there is no room for variation which is crazy because people are not all the same. I am glad that Lupita come into the limelight because she helped that little girl and probably so many others. This emphasises the importance of diversity in media representation because it really does have an influence on how people feel about themselves.

It's important to remember that our skin colour, physical features and society's ideals of perfection shouldn't control our lives to a point where we become obsessed with changing our lives to meet these standards. And we should definitely not associate these standards with our self worth because you are great as you! Our features are what makes us unique and we should accept them because they are good enough for you and the rest of the world - I know it's cliche but it's honestly true. Once we start believing we are enough, we can truly acceptance ourselves and love life.  In Lupita's speech she mentioned that her mum used to tell her that " you can't eat beauty, it doesn't feed you" and by that, I think she meant that looking pretty is not the be all and end all because you can't survive on it and it doesn't last forever. The way I see it is that looking good will make you feel good for a little while but if we don't accept and love our imperfections then we will back to feeling like shit again and for someone people this becomes a vicious cycle.

Here is being happy for being just you !!!


Zeynab x