For while, I really believed that I might be cursed - I know it's absolutely crazy but that me for you. I can't remember a time when things have gone plain sailing for me, it's always been one struggle after another. I can hear you say, but life is hard and it's all about the struggle it makes it worth it at the end. Sometimes, I just want to things to go the way I want them to go without any hurdles, is that too much to ask?
I am probably not cursed, and probably don't even have the worse luck in the world but it certainly feels like it. I feel like I have to work extra hard and that is just to keep up with everyone else. It doesn't help that we can constantly bombard with images of people's perfect lives all over social media. When you see someone your age or even younger doing so so well in life, it can be like where did I go wrong, why am I failing at life?
My mum always says I am in my head way too much. Ok, which I will admit this is very true, I will dissect everything little aspect of everything that's going on in my life - it's so exhausting, why is there no stop button for thinking? She is always reminding me that things will happen when they are meant to happen, and everyone is on a different track. There is no point in comparing, where I am today to where someone else is at. So I have made a pledge to myself, to stop focusing on everyone else and what they are doing and just focus on me! It's easier said than done, but I am trying. All I can do is work hard on what I want and remember that I will reap the rewards when the time comes.
I think the notion of only recognising the big major life milestones and celebrating those, plays hugely into this. Life is about the big and the little things, in fact, it's all the little that makes it. Waiting to celebrate and measure your success against milestones set up by society is a sure way to feel like a failure. We have to set immediate goals as well as long term goals, once you accomplish these immediate goals you become confident and empowered that you can achieve change. It builds your belief and motivation to strive for those bigger goals. There are so many little things that I have achieved and that you have achieved that we should be proud of. If we recognise these achievements and take the time to be proud of these, it will put you and me in a stronger position to go after those bigger challenges. Start small, I know it's very much cliche but there is a reason why people always say it.
When you are feeling this, it's so hard to remember that you are probably not at lone and there are hundred more people feeling exactly the same. I guess that life can seem unfair. I was watching an episode of Keeping Up With Kardashians, and Kim Kardashian was literally in tears because she felt the exact same way and thought that nothing came easily to her. I was like on hold on a minute, you are Kim Kardashian you have the world at your feet. It just goes to show that we really don't know what goes on in someone's life no matter how much they choose to put out there. It gives me some comfort that I am not alone in this. Remember social media is not a real reflection of someone's life, only the good parts.
It's easy to forget that everyone is going through their own set of problems and setbacks. Life is gonna be hard, it doesn't matter who you because life doesn't give two hoots if you are Kim K or you it's gonna dish out some hardship your way. So I am probably not cursed, it's just life dishing it out to me because well it can. All I can do it give back twice as hard to achieve what I want to achieve. I don't ever give up on yourself, you just have to remind yourself that you can do it!
Please tell I am not alone in this.
Zeynab x
No comments :
Post a Comment